wasak

April 27th, 2008 by ayokona

"There’s nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their ‘discomfort’ like a favorite shirt. I can’t say I’m very pleased with where my life is just now… but I can’t help but look forward to where it’s going."

                                                                      -paolo coehlo…este paolo pena pla      

you see, im the only one who’s wasak right now -or so i thought. hehe. i fervently hope i wont turn into a beast or a monster or whatever sort of scary creature in the future. I know I won’t. I might be broken but I will be whole again.

wasak!!!

thanks pao. smile.

if writing is MY gift, why cant i open it?

April 20th, 2008 by ayokona

patience, patience, patience! 

meantime…

I’ve been a bad bad girl I’ve been careless With a delicate man And it’s a sad sad world When a girl will break a boy Just because she can Don’t you tell me to deny it I’ve done wrong and I want to Suffer for my sins I’ve come to you ‘Cause I need Guidance to be true And I just don’t know Where I can begin What I need is A good defense ‘Cause I’m feelin’ Like a criminal And I need To be redeemed To the one I’ve sinned against Because he’s all I ever knew of love Heaven help me For the way I am Save me from These evil deeds Before I get them done I know tomorrow brings The consequence at hand But I keep livin’ this day like The next will never come Oh help me but Don’t tell me to deny it I’ve got to cleanse myself Of all these lies till I’m good enough for him I’ve got a lot to lose And I’m bettin’ high So I’m beggin’ you Before it ends Just tell me where to begin What I need Is a good defense ‘Cause I’m feelin’ Like a criminal And I need To be redeemed To the one I’ve sinned against Because he’s all I ever knew of love Let me know the way Before there’s hell to pay Give me room to lay The law and let me go I’ve got to make a play To make my lover stay So what would an angel say The devil wants to know What I need Is a good defense ‘Cause I’m feelin’ Like a criminal And I need To be redeemed To the one I’ve sinned against Because he’s all I ever knew of love What I need is A good defense ‘Cause I’m feelin’ Like a criminal And I need To be redeemed To the one I’ve sinned against Because he’s all I ever knew of love. 

                                                            - fiona apple

oh no its johnny… i better be good. please bear with me, im under repair. i never meant to do any harm, my apologies to those people i myt have hurt.. including myself.  whew.

                                                             - jenstar

it’s raining noah’s ark

August 21st, 2007 by ayokona

yeah right.. not just cats and dogs baby. when ur all messed up and u dont know what to do.. i’ve got 2 words for you: "kalmado lang" haha! (TM friend ni mitch).

i miss summer.

wla lang.

tenenen!

May 19th, 2007 by ayokona

i’ve decided to obey these rules. haAy… i will try. some of it i already did. felt good! i swear.

breaking the hiatus

April 22nd, 2007 by ayokona

Actual behavior: gusto ko magmidnyt snack

Soundtrack: like humans do – david byrne

Its been one helluva rollercoaster ride since I last posted another blah-gag over here and up to now, and as always, being the ever confused person that I am, I still cannot synchronize my thoughts. Rarr.

Anyhoo….! Last Friday I was with Asia, my bestest friend in the planet earth. Before we went to work we celebrated -what else but…the earthday itself. We were supposed to be there at 7 and by then we can already smell heaven… harhar! But it turned out to be a no party at 8:02 coz we got in Tomas Morato at elevenish and we weren’t able to catch the “vampires”, not to mention our uber favorite goup,,, ang mga magsasagip ng buhay namin sa kabila ng matinding kalungkutan at hinagpis sa hagupit ng malupit at natutulog naming mundo, walang iba kundi ang GINILING FESTIVAL! Dang, it was a so sayang.. wehehe! Nevertheless we still captured a lot of wonderful acts that night. We caught session road singing to the tune of cool off –how appropriate for your heiress?

Hephep..(–,) anyway, we’re also able to grab a hold of paramita, up dharma down, the dawn, itchyworms (this time we got to see them perform beer live after like three consecutive gigs without em playin it due to unforeseen circumstances) and of course, my ever beloved, favorite poet next to dong abay -lourd de veyra alongside his band, radioactive sago project on the other stage. For me it was so spotless Alak,sugal,kape,babae became my LSS that night. "alak.sugal.alak.kape.alak.sugal.kape.babae." hehehe!

Its been a while since Asia and I went to a gig together and we’re looking forward for more just like the way we did before. Work sucks sometimes but we don’t have a choice, we have to step back to reality and give a little time for everything. I hate it when there’s just so little time when you’ve got too much to do. So I better gonna go sign off now before everything else gets worse. *cursor blinks*

whoa! dammit. i love this page.

February 9th, 2007 by ayokona

taranta mode.

matapos kong sumabak sa inuman ng halos apat na litrong alkohol na amoy gaas na kuntawagin ay lambanog, matapos kong yakapin ang bespren ng lahat ng tao in terms of "success," (in other words, inidoro yun) dahil sa sobrang kasenglotan…

naisip ko ang mga sumusunod:

ayokona blogs.

dota.

laptop.

sandwich.

website.

dj.

pulp.

behind the cam.

jack.

polka loka.

fashionista.

wagwag jam.

fine arts.

identity.

UP.

super proxy.

yung iintindi.

si dong.

makata.

radikal.

waffle time.

hello, hello.

hello american, hello spanish.

trabaho.

overdrive.

teddy.

eskwela.

libro.

telepono.

bisekleta.

tampo.

sawa na. at…

ayoko na.

wag kang matakot. hindi ito suicide letter. kung nakarelate ka man sa mga naisulat kong yan, malamang kaibigan kita.

kakaisip ko ng "ayoko na," napagawa tuloy ako ng LOI o letter of intent na talaga namang gusto ko nang gawin noon pa.

panahon na para magbago. wag tayong magpadikta! wahaha!

nabago rin tuloy pati layout ko. haha! gusto ko sha. blink on! ;p

death becomes her

January 11th, 2007 by ayokona

This is odd. Somebody from the office told me “he’s dead” and seriously, I felt the rush of tears in my then wide opened eyes. Chicken skin’s quite normal, at least for me but this time these really are goosebumps. It hit me hard. It’s just so not a good time since I’m still recuperating from that horrible experience I had the day before. I kid you not, twas unbelievably loathsome. You know how it feels when a suckling, stranger pig told you to go to hell but you weren’t able to get back at her cuz she’d already runaway?! Damn, I hate pigs! We shouldn’t let them rule the world even if it’s their year…the hell I care?! Well, so much for that, l really felt sad about the bad news that came in. that death issue… I wasn’t able to focus on my calls because of it. Just last month, I updated my profile and had “the used” as my theme (i have no plans of changing it yet for the present) for 2 reasons. Number one, I love the band. Number two, I adore Bert McCracken. So when that colleague told me that he’s already dead, I nearly cried. Dang it, just the thought of losing someone who inspires me to the bone makes me shiver. But then again I wouldn’t wanna be duped so I rushed down our e-room (is there such a word or im just playin em?) to see if its true. It was just a ten minute break and I can’t wait to get to the net but this freakin guard won’t let me in.

The scene:

Guard: Chinelas yan mam ah? (ma’am, those are flipflops right) *sosyal ang guard*

Ako (me): Oo nga! (That’s right!)

Narrator: Then came the power of lies…harharhar.

So I was able to manage to get myself into the research and it came out to be a SCAM. It was just for a film that Bert died and that was in Warped Tour 2003.

Whatever happened to me?

Silly.

So the moral is to gather the FACTS. (bet it sounds familiar to the HR team way back at PG. teehee!) l miss u guys! ;p

fasten your seatbelts

September 29th, 2006 by ayokona

i’ve never felt like this before. seems like everything’s a book. it’s good, im learning a lot. im beginning to feel the pain which assures me that i exist. sure it wont be pretty but acceptance is the key. you’re life, other people’s life… you may not really know why such things occur but as it goes, you’ll picture the irony of it all. and i tell you, it’s insane. scary but its impossible to ignore. strange but this is the quarter-life crisis. welcome to the age of confusion.

ride on.

+aSk AnD yOu sHaLL bE GiVeN+

September 9th, 2006 by ayokona

there are a few days to go before my natal day comes and

I, Jenalyn Balba, am one very excited birthday celebrant.

I woke up two or prolly three nights ago –I don’t really remember I have a short-term memory loss, with a magnificent idea in my mind. Since its gonna be my special day, I have decided to feel like “the boss”. Nyaharhar! Yep, im gonna ask or demand all my friends to give me some presents. For those who have no idea of what to bequeath, fret not coz I have prepared some series of thingamagigies that you can choose from. Here they are, and I wish I can put a bouncing ball to this [just follow the italics]…

Okay basically, I’ll go for cds for it really makes me happy.

If sumbody can give me an i-pod, why the hell not?

Locally, original copies would be highly appreciated. I am an advocate of the anti-piracy league here in the Philippines inasmuch as I believe that our local artists deserve the moolah for them to make such great album releases. Last month, I was with my bestfriend and we were able to catch the pocket concert at sm mall of asia. Imago played and how I wish I could grab a copy of their nu album blush. And oh, I missed to have probably not but most definitely too. Asia, my best bud, already have a copy of the ‘worms’ noontime show but it wouldn’t hurt if I’ll have my own, right? Got a beat on my mind and it goes like pedicab’s tugish takish… speaking of tu, I’ve seen two cds of yano for the price of one at a record bar. Mugen bar, dang! That’s where chicosci’s self titled album was launched last 060606 and I missed it to think that it was just a few blocks away from our office. Anyhoo, at the office, we used to listen to radioactive sago project but its just a single, I wanna have the entire urban gulaman. Argh, who can resist the extreme energy emanating from urbandub’s influence & embrace. Urban living, sometimes it needs some chillaxin. Meditation, that’s what youre gonna get from romancing venus cds, a collection of kooky tuason’s poetry transformed into powerful songs. Not sure if ‘tis available at Tower. Tower and girl power sounds good together but it’ll be nicer to hear those girls…Cynthia Alexander,paramita, the late Isabel and up dharma down will sure not make me frown.

Oryt, so now let’s go to the west side of things. Ever since my eyes were unwrapped to the elements of Recto’s entire pile of pirated cds, it has always been hard for me to choose from the vast collections ever available. Yeah, I admit I also buy pirated cds, I don’t want to be duplicitous about that. Some of em comes in mp3 forms which is nice so long as its of good quality. Never mind the typographical errors. Hihi. *wink*

These are what I have always wanted (in no particular order):

Coldplay,aqualung,straylight run,jet,the vines,the hives,the strokes,the killers, the submarines,the streets,the Sundays,the cure,size 14,star69,blink182,angels and airwaves,jimmy eat world,keanne,head automatica,glass jaw,finch,taking back Sunday,my chemical romance,the flaming lips,ivy,alanis morisette (read: she is my mentor. Howkhem?) Dresden dolls,bjork,sugarcubes,save ferris,guano apes,tool,a perfect circle,smashing pumpkins,foofighters… so on and so forth.

There are many things that I would like to add to this but as usual, I forgot. If you’re more than willing to give me other interesting stuffs not mentioned above, that will be fine. However, you have to ask for my permission first. How selfish of me. Wahehe. Therefore, unless otherwise notified, I will also accept burnt copies. Just please don’t disregard the labels and titles. Big thanks!

I, Jenalyn Balba, am one very excited birthday celebrant.

yun o!

September 4th, 2006 by ayokona

meron akong bagong blog.

hindi ito un.

mas mahaAaAaba dito.

mababasa nio na sana kaso lang…

yun oh!

"nasan na yung friendster ko?"

"ay mam pa-restart na lang po"

     +

pighati.

pagtitimpi.

AaaaAAAaaaaAAAAaaaaaAAAaaa!!!!!!

syet.

may bukas pa.

o kaya

mamaya.